WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE
7/2/08
When I awake in the morning I have the oddest sense of deja vue. I feel like I’m replaying the same day over and over again. I may have had different dreams the night before, or I may have had a few different experiences , but they more or less seem to all blend into one another. I am certain that most people might feel the same way. Even though I have planned my day the day before, that six o’clock AM hour still seems the same as the day before. When I sit down to work I run through the same routines as I have for what seems forever, and ask myself “Where do I go from here ?”
I’ve thought of several different scenarios to change my routine, but after I’ve changed them I find the experience wasn’t really worth the effort. I am a creature of habit, and I am reluctant to change my habits. Habits become so entrenched into the mental and physical makeup that so often I don’t realize I’m doing the same thing over and over again. If they are productive habits then I am encouraged to continue them on auto pilot, however the unproductive and destructive habits seem to be even more ingrained into my psyche. Anyone who smokes, can identify with me on this. I was grateful to learn that two cups of coffee in the morning may be beneficial to my health, but for some reason I think that is just media hype supporting the Coffee Growers Association, and news reporters trying to justify their own caffeine addictions.
So I begin another day with the usual conflict of deciding what to do and where to go to be the most productive I can be during this day. I’ve got a mental list of things I should do, and things I need to do, and things I want to do. But as my old habits are hard to change I will probably do what I usually do and blend everything together , doing most of what I have to do, and want to do and leave the rest to do when I have enough time. I’ve been putting off a few time consuming tasks for quite a while, but they are beginning to call for my attention, so I may be preoccupied with attending to them soon. It’s tough being human.
When I watch my dog as he sleeps peacefully in a ray of sunlight streaming in through the window, I enjoy seeing him enjoying himself. He generally sleeps in the morning, and rests in the afternoon, gets up to have a drink of water, anxiously awaits his morning walk, breakfast, afternoon walk and supper. He really hates to have his schedule disturbed, and appears to thrive on his daily routine. He and I are much alike in that way except he gets far more rest than I do. But I am grateful that he can enjoy his day mostly undisturbed. When I am not certain where my day will lead me , I often get my dog’s leash and let him take me for a walk. He always walks ahead of me and seems to know exactly where he wants to go. He never seems to wonder where he should go, he just goes where he wants to, or where ever the path leads. I’ve learned a lot from my dog.
L.A. STEEL
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