TAIL DRAGGING
7/2/08
The bleached bones of yesterday clutter up this day’s mental landscape. Unless they are cleaned up they will still be there tomorrow. I am always amazed at people who have bulldozer focus. I have a bulldozer mentality, and just as most heavy equipment often needs down time for maintenance so do I. I often put my shoulder into the task before me and don’t let up until it is finished, but there are times when the task or tasks seem too overwhelming; even for two hundred and twenty pounds of Steel resolve.
The mental stamina I need to overcome certain obstacles is often fleeting . I have yet to understand what drives it or how to control it for long durations. It is similar to grabbing a tiger by the tail, and hurling it out of your way or misjudging the ferocity of the animal and becoming seriously injured or even devoured by the tiger. My reluctance to do something I have to do but don’t want to do is like having a tail dragging behind me. When my energy is low and I’m at my maximum frustration level I try to pull this tail along with me until it refuses to be moved. Often it will appear in front of me, reminding me of something I need to do in the future, but haven’t had the time to do , or figure out how to do.
It is similiar to this diatribe. I’m not sure why it needs to be said, nor am I sure how to finish it, it’s just there , kind of like a tail, to be pushed out of the way, dragged along with me, or simply accepted as a normal part of what I am. Today my tail seems to be cooperating with me and willing to stay out of my way. But at some point during the day I’m sure it will appear in front of me again, reminding me to return to something I was doing, or prompting me to remember something I have to do.
L.A. STEEL
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