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Apr 03 2007

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The Phone Game

THE PHONE GAME

I hate telemarketing calls especially the computerized recorded calls. The call from someone on the other line sounding friendly and real, until you try talking back to them and realize your talking to a recording.I got one of those calls the other day and the woman on the recording sounded so real I actually listened to her for a full minute. I started to talk to her and she kept on talking and talking until I realized she was a recording. I got pissed off and hung up the phone. Fifteen minutes later I got another call from some siding company, and was about to hang up when an elderly voice asked if I was Mr. Steel. I said yes, and he asked if I was interested in siding. I said no, but thanks for calling. He seemed like a nice guy trying to do his job. I have a soft spot for salesmen since I was one for many years. 100 calls =10 leads= 1 sale. Not the greatest odds but that’s cold calling. Having a few good leads makes it a little easier. I thought about how many calls it would take by computer to get even one good lead, then I wondered what quality lead one could get with a recorded phone message. Who would have the patience or the want to even listen to the message, if they knew it was a recording? One lead per thousand calls maybe.10,000 calls for one sale. It’s hardly worth the cost of the phone bill.

The most aggravating telemarketing calls are the ones from some guy named Fred from India. You just know this guy has an outsourced American job and is living in India somewhere trying to sell another stupid American something he doesn’t need. Why would anyone give this guy their credit card number or even care to listen to him? I did listen to him until he gave me every special deal he had to offer for the price of $20 dollars. $1400.00 dollars worth of something for $20.00 . I wondered how much lower he would go. He started to get angry with me and called me cheap. I finally told him that the 10 minutes I spent listening to him was worth 100 dollars of my time that he owed me . I told him I would give him the same deal he gave me and that I would only charge him $80.00 . He could send me a check and a $1400 dollar gift certificate for the merchandise he promised me to my P.O Box. I then heard a long pause and the phone hung up. It was probably a mean thing to do, but I couldn’t help myself. I never heard from Fred or anyone else from that company again . I’m sure they took me off their call list.

While I was writing this today I got another call from some financial company. A young woman’s voice recording told me my lease had been renewed. I don’t have any leases. There must be enough people with leases to be worth the company phone call. You might be wondering if I have an ID caller or blocker. I do, but these calls still get through with no name or Fred Smith or some other bogus name. I keep thinking that Fred or another live telemarketer from India or China or Timbuktu will call again. It’s rare that I have the time, or get a chance to beat these companies at their own game.

L.A. STEEL

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