TO CLOSE TO CHAOS
6/21/07
Everything around me seems calm right now. The sun is shining , the dog is quiet, my thought streams are normal. But a few hours ago a madness seemed to be the order of the day. Thoughts of things that had to be done. Thoughts of needs that had to be met. Anger at things I couldn’t control . I was getting too close to chaos.
This chaos comes on occasion. It creeps up on me when I least expect it. The phone rings 15 times in an hour, a dish breaks, a deal is lost, an errand needs to me done, a letter needs writing , book needs finishing , a show needs research, a backlog of phone calls can’t be made. Bad news , bad news and more bad news all in the same hour . The mind can’t cope positively and suddenly shuts down. I damn everything, and I sit down, think of nothing and spaz out for a while. No one has to take in more than they can handle, but just in case you do, try to take it easier and everything seems to come back into perspective. Pick up the broken dish, figure out how to patch up the deal, do the errand, call all of your need to make phone calls, work on the book,and don’t listen to any news programs. If I give myself enough time, to catch up with myself things always get better, they did today.
L.A. STEEL
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