EXPECTING CHANGE
12/10/08
Expecting something is the motive for life. It is what everyone does and the divine law which everyone adheres to. If I do something I expect something in return, I do everything with the expectation of a result. Expectation fills our life with joy , excitement and foreboding. Christmas is the time of year when expectations reach unreasonable heights. . Trying to anticipate what to expect as a gift or what to give someone often depends on what someone has been given or has received. In the majority of cases we always expect more than we receive. We are childlike in this way. As a child I always expected a bountiful Christmas because I had always had a bountiful Christmas. As I got older I desired less, and began to expect less for Christmas, and as an adult I have very few expectations about what I will receive for Christmas and I am pleased by any thoughtful gift I receive. I am certain that under the pressures of this current economy many adults and children are expecting less in their Christmas stockings this year, but lessening expectations is a critical part of keeping the delicate balance of the human experience.
I can not truthfully say that I expect less than I want , nor can I state truthfully that I receive less than I expect. I generally get what I want as long as I do not expect too much of myself or others. I expect to achieve only what I am capable of achieving . Often I surprise myself and others by achieving something I hadn’t expected to achieve. Many times we all surprise ourselves at what we are capable of doing, either good or bad. For some people I have no expectations, and for others I have greater expectations. As for myself I am always prepared to be disappointed by my own abilities. I learned very young that I did not have the ability to run as fast as some of my friends could run. I was actually teased about being too slow. I remember quite vividly during a Phys.Ed. class when I was in Junior High, everyone was tested at running the 50 yard dash. I ran as fast as I could but made the worst time of 11 seconds. All of my classmates made it in 10 seconds or less. I was the tallest kid in my class, and somewhat awkward, having grown six inches in less than a year. I remember the Phys.Ed. teacher announcing my time to everyone as the slowest in the group. He asked me in front of everyone if I wanted to try it again , and I told him no,. I knew I had run as fast as I could, but he insisted . I told him I was satisfied with my speed and I didn’t think I could run any faster. He insisted that I try again against my protest , so as he blew his whistle for me to start I began to slowly walk instead of run. I realize that I had rebellion issues, however I had absolutely no desire or inclination to run anymore, to prove to my classmates or my teacher that I could run one second faster. Most of all the students ran the course at 10 seconds or slightly less. All were lighter and shorter than I was. It made absolutely no sense to me at the time or to this day; that I should be concerned about running one second faster than I did. That everyone else expected me to run faster had nothing to do with my own expectations, I never had Olympic ambitions, therefore, the entire act of pushing myself further to shave off one second in the 50 yard dash, was completely ridiculous. I felt it was more important to make the statement that I was not going to be pushed any further. I was satisfied that I had my limitation and running one second faster just to conform with the speed of the others made no sense to me at all.
Trying to live up to someone else’s unrealistic expectations of us is one of humanity’s greatest problems. Everyone has certain expectations for themselves. We all expect to achieve and we are all encouraged or discouraged by others in our lives . I have found that any discouragement I’ve received from others as I tried to achieve a personal goal, has been nothing more than an odious burden , and something that I must ignore. If I feel capable and competent in my pursuit of a goal , regardless how ambitious it may be, then I will do all I can to achieve it. My only exception to this rule is , what ever I undertake must make sense to me. I do not care if it makes sense to anyone else. I have accomplished many things in my life that have been discouraged by others. Some of these discouraging advisers had failed themselves at what I was certain I could achieve, and did achieve.
There is one ever persistent enemy that can not be ignored regarding expectations. That enemy is doubt. Doubt creates discouragement, and is the tail of the dragon of failure. Self fullfilling prophecies become evident to all who believe them. If I say I will fail at something before I begin, then I have diminished my chances of success substantially and may convince myself to never start.
I have learned that for me to achieve any goal I must have enthusiasm and great interest and focus to establish realistic personal expectations. I expect from myself and others only what I believe can be expected. I would not expect a blind man to recognize my face in a crowd , nor would I expect a deaf person to hear me speak to them. However, I do expect that a fully sighted friend should recognize me, or that someone listening to my radio show is capable of hearing and listening. Based upon these simple rules of common sense expectations, I operate my life accordingly and continue my work towards achieving my goals. By realistically expecting to achieve and receive what is achievable and receivable I am seldom disappointed by my expectations.
L.A. STEEL
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