Apr 15 2005

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Sometimes you can’t find the right words.

I have tried to express myself in so many different ways, but regardless of my methods or mediums I always encounter major resistance from my indifference, anger, contempt, arrogance, guilt, presentation, dislike, fear, self-consciousness, over confidence, lack of confidence. These are just a few of the great walls of resistance I encounter trying to express myself to others.

I know that they are the same problems most people have expressing themselves but sometimes when all these things strike at once the effect can be numbing. I get this way often when I try to write a piece about current issues that so desperately need expression, but I cannot seem to create the objectivity needed to adequately interpret to an audience many of these issues.

I can’t help from feeling outraged when I think about or analyze the Bush Administration policies. I can’t objectively view the madness behind the rational for anything this administration is doing. So I create an attempt at objectivity which I later find is impossible for me to do and either forget the entire issue or concept and leave the keyboard, or camera or microphone and move on to another thought, that appears for the moment more comprehensible and can be looked at more objectively.

I often brood over certain issues like the John Bolton nomination for the U.N or Negroponte’s appointment for the chief of all U.S. Intelligence agencies. Or the massive failure in Iraq and the insanity of the Far Christian Right, or how Tom Delay is still allowed to be Majority leader of the House of Representatives, or why George W. is even the president when he won the election through total fraud. You see, I can’t remain objective especially if more information comes to me to validate my suspicions. I can not rest until I have expressed my anger or my biased perspective of the issue to someone, either here on this website or on camera or shout it out on radio. So if I seem rattled or slightly overly opinionated on some subject or other and you are wondering what I’m getting at or what is the point of my article, I apologize; because I have failed once again at accurately and objectively expressing myself on these issues.

L.A. Steel

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